HIDDEN MICROPHONE


Location:         A nice restaurant, recently advertising Valentine’s Day Specials.

Date/Time:       February 14, 2013       8:00pm

View:               The back wall of the restaurant which has a booth (#1) with two couples, a smaller booth (#2) with one couple, a table (#3) with a family of four, and a small table (#4) with one couple.

Overheard:       Booth #1:         “Hey, Jeremy, are you ordering one of the Couple’s Specials?”

                                                      “Yeah Chase, We’re getting Number two, filets and shrimp. Do you want to do a bottle of wine and split it?”

                                                “Nah, we’re having beer. Are you recording the Lakers tonight?”

                                                “Hell yes, man, I’m watching it soon as we get this ordeal over.”

                                                “It’s over, buster, this ordeal and the whole enchilada. You can watch your precious Lakers on the TV at Motel 6 if you have enough cash. I’m outta hear.”

angry wife

Booth #2                                   “I love you honey.”

                                                      “Wait, not yet, I’m tweeting my menu selection to Jennifer. Oh, look at her picture with her wine at Café Med.”

                                                     “Cheers, to us.”

                                                       “Just hold on, you’re in such a hurry. She just tweeted back that Alex gave her a new pearl necklace. I bet that makes you feel cheap.”

                                                         “Hey, come on, honey. I thought we decided that dinner and cards would be our Valentine present to each other.”

                                                         “Of course I agreed to that stupid comment, but a girl likes to be surprised sometimes. You’ll never learn.”

                                                         “I love you, honey.”

                                                          “I just tweeted Jennifer and told her I am married to a tight-ass.”

Tweet

Table #3                                            “Why couldn’t your mother watch the kids tonight.”

                                                              “I told you she didn’t want the kids to rub her ashes off from yesterday. She feels like the longer she can keep them on her forehead, the more grace she is receiving.”

                                                               “That is really stupid.”

                                                                “Are you calling my mother stupid?”

                                                                 “I’m just saying her belief is stupid.”

                                                              “Daddy, can we have the Valentine’s Day Special Number two?”

family dinner

Booth #4                                                   “I love you honey. Happy Valentine’s Day, my Valentine.”

                                                                        “Oh, you are so sweet, Happy Valentine’s to you, and I love you too.”

                                                                     “Do you think we can celebrate the day before or the day after next year?   It seems like we’re surrounded by angry people.”

                                                                    “I agree, let’s order it all to go tonight and escape to our love nest.”

lovers

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About bakoheat

Writer/Musician
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4 Responses to HIDDEN MICROPHONE

  1. Catherine says:

    you’re making this up……right?

  2. fiddlrts says:

    This is why my wife and I don’t do dinner out on holidays. Too pricey, too crowded, too much pressure. As far as that goes, how did Valentine’s Day and anniversaries end up being yet another “the man had BETTER do something spectacular for the woman” day? Shouldn’t both be celebrating together? We had a delightful dinner at home, that we both cooked (with a little kid help), and put on real cloth and candles. Another year together is something to be thankful for, after all.

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