Past Laughs Revisited

A few weeks ago, I heard an editor on a news/talk show say he had laughed the entire plane ride as he read an unreleased book from an old friend. He mentioned the title and it was one of those titles that brand your brain and can’t be forgotten. He said the book would be released in mid-summer this year and would be titled “The Stench of Honolulu.” OK, that sounds interesting for a comedic read. He then mentioned the author was Jack Handey. Where have I heard that name?

Jack Handey

I finished the news/talk show and the next time I sat at the computer I went on to Amazon to see if they might have a pre-order release on “The Stench of Honolulu.” Sure enough, they did and then I realized how I knew Jack Handey. I imagine you do too, dear reader.  Think about it a minute…aha, now you remember.

SNL back in the day always had a short segment as they cut away for commercials. It was called:  “Deep Thoughts” by Jack Handey.  I really didn’t know at the time he was an author.  I thought they might me making up that silly name. I dug up a few so forgive me while I share some of Jack Handey’s strange humor.

Here are some of my favorites from Saturday Night Live:

Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey (inspiration for the uninspired)

“When I heard that trees grow a new “ring” for each year they live, I thought, we humans are kind of like that: we grow a new layer of skin each year, and after many years we are thick and unwieldy from all our layers.”

“If God dwells inside us, like some people say, I sure hope He likes enchiladas, because that’s what he’s getting!”

“Sometimes I think the world has gone completely mad. And then I think, “Aw, who cares?” And then I think, “Hey, what’s for supper?”

“I wish scientists would come up with a way to make dogs a lot bigger, but with a smaller head.  That way, they’d still be good as watchdogs, but they wouldn’t eat so much.”

“Some Folks say it was a miracle. Saint Francis suddenly appeared and knocked the next pitch clean over the fence. But I think it was just a lucky swing.”

“I wish I had a kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula and Superman away.”

“In weightlifting, I don’t think sudden, uncontrolled urination should automatically disqualify you.”


“Even though he was an enemy of mine, I had to admit that what he accomplished was a brilliant piece of strategy. First, he punched me, then he kicked me, then he punched me again.”



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About bakoheat

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