Still Crazy After All These Years


Today I’m traveling 2,135 miles to the heartland of the USA, good old Indiana.

Location map of Indiana, USA

Location map of Indiana, USA (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’m looking forward to seeing my family and friends and have a few weeks of vacation. However, my family and friends (most) is not the “crazy” I’m speaking about.

The crazy I’m speaking of are Indiana Laws. I left that state in ’81 and they were fighting about liquor laws then. I had just sold my Restaurant and Bar and was happy that a 3-way Indiana liquor license   (beer, wine and liquor) was based on population and once the max number of licenses were sold each of them became more valuable every year. Truth be told, not a lot of people are flocking to Indiana so a liquor license can be like gold. (However, not this year in gold)

When I was finally old enough to drink in Indiana, I had to be careful if I had a date because women were not allowed to sit at the bar.  They finally changed that in the late ‘60s.

The state has stupid liquor laws that make no sense and yet the legislators seem helpless to do anything about it. (sounds like Washington) Some of them are about to change but not due to lawmakers, but to courts where the laws are FINALLY being challenged.

Two years ago, it finally became legal to buy carryout beer in Indiana. But, that’s a big BUT, the beer had to be made and bottled on the premise where you purchased it. That’s right; the only legal carry out beer on Sunday is from a brew-pub or any other licensed beer brewer. Figure that one out. It’s still illegal to carry out any alcohol on Sunday from anywhere else…just beer from a brew-pub. You may serve liquor in a restaurant or bar serving food on Sunday. You may NEVER buy cold beer from a grocery or convenience store at any time, only liquor stores or brew-pubs. I can’t figure that one out. Or this one; it is illegal for liquor stores to sell milk.

My flight arrives in Indianapolis, which still has laws on the books refraining one from driving a horse faster that 10mph. Also in Indianapolis it is illegal to collect rags on Sunday or throw a rock at a bird in self-defense. I don’t plan on visiting the city of South Bend, where Notre Dame is, because it’s illegal to make a monkey smoke a cigarette.  Why else would I be going there?

Terre Haute is a clean city because it’s illegal to spit on the sidewalk…cool.
My friends have taken over Lafayette, where I’ll be camping out, and it has become completely lawless.  That’s what I like.

I’ll continue my blog from Indiana…if I’m not in jail.

About bakoheat

Writer/Musician
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8 Responses to Still Crazy After All These Years

  1. Dennis says:

    Makes me glad I don’t drink. One less thing to stress about. The laws you cite have much to say about our priorities as a society. None of it commendable. Years ago, an elderly friend observed, “It’s time for a flood.”

  2. Loved your post, Dan. Made me recall a Sunday in Pigeon Forge, TN, when we couldn’t even get a beer in a restaurant. I was on a motorcycle trip through there. Later, on my return trip home, I ran into the same problem, trying to buy beer in a gas station convenience store. They’d put broomsticks through the beer cooler handles so the door wouldn’t open. “Uh OH! Must be Sunday,” I said aloud.

    Did you go to the Indy 500?

    xoA

    • bakoheat says:

      Thanks Annis! I landed in Indy about 15 hours before the race. There were tickets available, but the energy for event has disappeared. I missed a great race but I’d rather watch it on TV where I don’t have to cart my cooler for six blocks and stand in a security line for two hours.

  3. Iola Reneau says:

    Kansas has some really weird laws regarding alcohol too. I found that out when I lived in Colorado and wanted to order a certain wine for my best friend’s birthday and have it delivered to her house and they said no to the deliver and no to that particular wine because it was not sold in the state of Kansas, so I could not mail it to her either…..I hung up the phone very confused.

    • bakoheat says:

      Thanks for writing, Iola. There are still a number of states that don’t allow wine shipped into the state. I get wine deliveries in CA. and they are very careful about the age of the person signing for the wine, so the laws are just controlling and unnecessary.

  4. fiddlrts says:

    As much as I love Utah, it is annoying that it is impossible to buy wine there. (You can drink at a club, which you have to join. And you can get 3% beer at the store now – that’s an improvement.) The way they have been able to avoid running afoul of the Federal laws is that they treat local and out-of-state booze exactly the same way. That’s probably what will be the grounds for striking down the Indiana laws: it treats interstate commerce worse than intrastate commerce – which is a violation of the Commerce Clause.

    Yet another reason to love living in California.

    • bakoheat says:

      For sure, and I haven’t even started on HUMIDITY yet….ugh. From the air conditioned house to the car is about 25 paces. but before I open the car door I feel sweat running down my back. I look forward to breathing our dirty miserable DRY air.

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