Forget Hot Dogs


When I was a kid, going to the county fair meant cotton candy, corn dogs and candy apples. History my friends, forget it. The only thing that resembles a fair of the past is the aroma of the animal exhibits. Now, its fried-food heaven and each state or county tries to out-fry the other. I read where the big thing at the fairs in Texas is chicken-fried bacon. Heck, that’s just a regular menu offering here.  The Rocket Shop Café in Bako has chicken-fried bacon and chicken-fried sausage on the daily menu. I also read the Minnesota State Fair has Spaghetti and meatballs on a stick. Well, I’ll give them a couple points for putting it on a stick, because that’s important, but who cares.  It ain’t fried. Heck, we’ve got funnel cake on a stick. We have fried pork chops on a stick and we have fried waffle with powdered sugar on a stick. Get with it Minnesota.

That’s right—forget about hot dogs–anybody can get a hotdog any day of the week. Today it’s County Fair time and that means anything fried is all right. Besides having 12 days of great entertainment (Los Lobos, REO Speedwagon, Four Tops, Jefferson Airplane—Jefferson Starship—Mickey Thomas & Starship, etc.)_ included in the $9 price, we get to discover what the latest thing they’ve decided to deep-fry is. I thought the deep-fried butter was the ultimate, but no-no, we have some new additions this year to curl your toes and arteries.

DEEP FRIED BUTTER
deep fried butterOf course, the old favorites are still there including the chocolate-covered bacon and the red velvet funnel cake, but the new offerings are what I’m interested in this year. I don’t want “last year’s” deep fried stuff.

A guy should try to eat them in courses like a regular dinner so I’ll try to present a nice dinner spread with only the NEW Kern county fair foods of 2013. Obviously, beer, any brand would be the liquid pairing.
We’re going to arrive at 1pm so lunch would be:

Appetizer=Fried banana and pineapple bits and a fried pickle.
Entrée=Fried peanut butter and jelly sandwich with powdered sugar
Desert=Maple syrup and bacon funnel cake
FRIED PEANUT BUTTER & JELLY

fried peanut butter and jelly

Time to walk around and see whatever, maybe ride the new 100 foot Vertigo Spinning Tower and then time for an afternoon snack.

We’ll grab a pork chop on a stick and some garlic fries with jalapenos. More beer of course—hot hot hot mouth. If the wife isn’t real hungry yet, she’ll probably opt for the Koolickle (that’s a great big dill pickle that’s been steeped in Kool-Aid). She’ll love the pink color.

After more rides, especially the ones that spin round and round, it will be time for the main meal of the day, so we need to plan it out. There are lots of things we haven’t tried yet so maybe you can talk the spouse into sharing. Here’s what we’ll do:

Appetize=Fried waffle on a stick with powdered sugar—have her choose the Chocolate strawberry waffle ball.
Entrée—I need the Roast beef sundae…sounds good really.  Mashed potatoes, beef, cheese and topped with a cherry tomatoe.
|We’ll choose two sides to split and that would be:
Fried Baked potato & Funnel cake on a stick
Desert has to be:  Maple Bacon Sundae (bacon, maple syrup over ice cream)….hmmm, yummy.

I’m full of beer, so I need to wash this all down with a delicious Frozen Mangoneado (mango with chamoy chili sauce)

Don’t know about you, but I’m ready to go back to the rides before the entertainment starts on the main stage.

The coolest thing would be to have a Fried-Food eating contest…20 minute time limit. Forget about those Hot-Dog eating contests. This would be fantastic! We’ll hold it out front of the favorite fair food booth….like this one–

fair booth

About bakoheat

Writer/Musician
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2 Responses to Forget Hot Dogs

  1. Catherine says:

    OMG……….

  2. fiddlrts says:

    The proletarian equivalent of Molecular Gastronomy on display 😉

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