Flatter than a Pancake


Ten Years ago, some scientists with time on their hands composed an algorithm to measure the flatness of states. Like United States’ States. The methodology is very complicated and uninteresting, but their reasononing for developing a way to measure flatness made sense. The three fellows said that everyone was measuring mountains and nobody was measuring flatness. Okay.

So, they took an IHOP pancake and recorded the actual contours of the flapjack and compared it to their findings of the state of Kansas. Sure enough!
Kansas was determined to be flatter than a pancake.
Pancake Stack

Last month, we finally heard a reply from Kansas. Three geographers from the University of Kansas were tired of hearing they were flatter than a pancake and improved upon the methodology and measured the whole damn country, state by state. Well, they didn’t waste the money going to Alaska and Hawaii. They knew there was no flatness in those places. They were assisted with NASA Shuttle Topography Information.

So we have it. I used this information for a few weeks to see if any of my friends could guess which states were the flattest states. Kansas was always in the top 3.
Actually there are SIX states flatter than Kansas.

Here are the Top Ten Flattest states.
1)         Florida
2)         Illinois
3)         North Dakota
4)         Louisiana
5)         Minnesota
6)         Delaware
7)         Kansas
8)         Texas
9)         Nevada
10)       Indiana
You don’t really give a damn about any of this do you?

Have a great weekend. For many it’s the official end of summer break.
Back to school, kids. Back to work, teachers. Crowded rush hours, people.

About bakoheat

Writer/Musician
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One Response to Flatter than a Pancake

  1. fiddlrts says:

    As a mountain lover, this is a great list of states I never want to live in…

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