Fears of 2015

So we’re into the first week of the New Year and the fear factor is low. Not good.

Maybe Wolf Blitzer at CNN and the entire Fox News channel are on vacation. But, don’t worry; it will be coming on strong soon. We must stay afraid. When we are afraid we keep watching the liars who are lying to us about the things that scare us. If it wasn’t for fear CNN would be shut down for now. They are near the end.
wolf blitzer

 Fox News is down to just scared old white folks watching. The average age of the Fox News viewer is 67. The average age of the Bill O’Reilly viewer is 72. Soon…bye bye.

Influenza spreads around the world every year, infecting from three to five million people and causing from 250,000 to 500,000 deaths. It’s hard to get an exact count of deaths because so many cases go undetected until respiratory problems or weak immune systems lead to deaths that flu actually caused.

Yet, we are not scared of flu.

We are scared of Ebola.
ebola cartoonLarry King has had twice as many wives as USA victims of Ebola, but we’re scared. We’re scared because we watch goofy shit-heads on TV. We do get scared of flu if it gets a name…Bird Flu or Swine Flu…that scares us.

So, we have to get ready for some new scary-stuff for 2015.

Maybe we can bring back Mad Cow Disease. That scared us to death.
Mad Cow
What the hell happened to the Killer Bees? That was a good scare. I figured they would have devoured us by now. The last I heard it was the name of a Rock Band.

SARS and MERS got to us. I hope we’re finally over the Autism/Vaccination craziness. Probably not. After all, Jenny McCarthy told us to be afraid, be very afraid. I guess that’s why we now have a whoopin-cough/pertussis increase in star-struck California.

Remember the “Millennium Bug?” That was a good scare. Y2K Apocalypse!

I’m not sure what the media-idiots will pounce on and keep pouncing to get viewers, but I do have my list of scary things for 2015. I hope Wolf is reading.

I’m scared Adam Sandler will make another movie.
I’m scared more people will really believe that the Cowboys are America’s Team.
I’m scared I will not hear one new real rock-tune on radio ever again.
I’m scared the Cubs just might make the playoffs this year and the tens of thousands of people who said they wanted to see this happen before they die will then die.
I’m scared Ron Popeil will invent one more thing that I have to have.
I’m scared the boogie-man will finally catch me.

About bakoheat

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4 Responses to Fears of 2015

  1. fiddlrts says:

    Fortunately, I think your fear regarding the Cubs is rather overblown. There is a reason “wait until next year” is their theme song 😉

    Great post.

  2. I read somewhere that, as a culture, US American’s are most ashamed of feeling fear. To experience fear is a sign of weakness here. Which means that people in the US are more likely to deny that they’re afraid than actually face their fear.

    Then I read somewhere else that fear-based persuasion is the most effective form of persuasion if the target is a US American. And that makes sense to me. That the people who are the least likely to address their fears are those most easily manipulated by them.

    So I don’t think fear-mongerers are going anywhere. It’s just too effective in getting people to watch/read/buy shit.

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