Apps Lapse

I’m suffering from “apps lapse.” I know it sounds like a drunk in a drug store asking for “ex-lax.”

What I mean is I’m so behind the times with my personal phone apps. Maybe you are too.

So, Dr. Dan is here to help you get your phone up to speed. Sure, I know you have an app to scan bar-codes, connect to your bank account, book a flight, count your footsteps, find a movie, get a sports score, map a destination, get a date, and call for a ride across town in a private car.  We’re so cool!

But this is the age of excess, greed, instant gratification and unintelligent congresspersons.

Here are some “special” apps for “special” people. Like you. Like me.

This first app you need to download would have been perfect for me last week. A family emergency in the Midwest left me unable to book a commercial flight for a couple days because of snow and frigid weather. Don’t YOU get caught in this trap.

This app already has 200,000 downloads so it must be working. Be able to book a private jet anywhere, anytime with “JETSMART.”
Here is your link:
Lear Jet





Have you ever been in a strange city and in need of some jewelry? Boy, I have. No more of that stuff. Anytime I need to find some bling, I just go to this great app. “BLINGFINDER.”
Here is your link:



So, you’re in this strange city and you’ve found your bling and now it’s time to celebrate. Where in the hell can a man find a drink?  Maybe a bottle of scotch, some craft beer? Well, now with your new “MINIBAR” link you can have the booze of your choice delivered to your door in 30 to 60 minutes.
Here is your link:
scotch whiskey






I’ve saved the best for last. There is nothing more frustrating than being in a strange country and not having a nice yacht to float. Fear not, for here is the answer to your boating needs. That’s right, 27,000 different choices of boats in 110 countries with your “GETMYBOAT” app.
Here is your link:

You’re welcome.

About bakoheat

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3 Responses to Apps Lapse

  1. Robert D. Levinson says:

    Hope all went well with you’re family emergency, Dan and you made it home safely. Nothing like a little March snowstorm to wreak havoc on our routines!

  2. fiddlrts says:

    “Have you ever been in a strange city and in need of some jewelry?”
    I suspect this app is marketed primarily to the demographic known as “Entertainment and Sports Figures.” 😉

    Now, one that I could see using if I ever break down and get a smart phone is Taphunter

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