You’re Such a Sag

You’re such a Sag!

Yeah, I hear that all the time.

I still have a few friends, very few, who like to point out how people’s personalities match up with their astrological sign.

I was waiting for a table at a Napa restaurant yesterday, Sunday, and overheard a lady tell her friend her husband, born on August 5th is such a perfect Leo because he’s so domineering and stubborn.
I wanted to tell her, “No, he’s really not a Leo. He’s just stubborn and domineering because he chooses to be.”
zodiac sign








No one born in the last thousand years
or so is what they think they are. Unfortunately the astrology books don’t tell you that because they would go broke.

Astrology was invented around 3000 years ago in Mesopotamia by Babylonian priests studying the stars. The priests thought the sun and the stars were revolving around the earth, but of course everyone thought that for the next 2500 years until Galileo.

Since those early Astrological studies the earth has tilted, tweeked and kept up its spinning and flying around our sun. Most people’s so-called sun-signs are at least a month earlier than you think, but it’s even more complicated than that.
Pyrez sign

The earth is now passing through 13 different constellations each year. We have added the constellation Ophiuchus (a man supporting a huge serpent). We spend about 44 days in the constellation Virgo and only 7 days in Scorpius. And with leap years the dates of each cycle can vary as much as two days.

Isn’t it amazing that we had a much revered President who scheduled his cancer surgery, State of the Union speeches, flight times of Air Force One based on a paid ($3000 per month) San Franciscan astrologer, Joan Quigley?

“Virtually every move and decision the Reagans made during my time as White House Chief of Staff was cleared in advance with a woman in San Francisco who drew up horoscopes to make certain that the planets were in a favorable alignment for the enterprise,” Don Regan wrote in his memoirs, “For the Record: From Wall Street to Washington.”

Joan Quigley died last October, but in her memoir titled “What does Joan Say?”, Ms. Quigley  tells us that was the question our President habitually asked his wife. AND…all of her spurious advice was based on false constellation alignments.  Some of it worked out well for us when she insisted that Nancy talk Ron into abandoning his “evil empire” view of Russia and do an arms treaty based on Gorbachev’s horoscope.

If some of you still insist on “reading” your horoscopes I will give you your actual “sun sign” based on our sky in this era.(if you were born in the last 100 years)

Capricorn        January 20 to February 16
Aquarius          February 17th to March 11th
Pisces              March 12 to April 18
Aries                April 19 to May 14
Taurus             May 15 to June 21
Gemini            June 22 to July 20
Cancer             July 21 to August 10
Leo                  August 11 to September 16
Virgo               September 17 to October 31
Libra                November 1 to November 23
Scorpio            November 23 to November 30
Ophiuchus       December 1 to December 18
Sagittarius       December 19 to January 19

So, when I hear my friend say, you’re such a Sag…huh uh, I’m a Ophiuchus, baby. I carry the big snake.

About bakoheat

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2 Responses to You’re Such a Sag

  1. fiddlrts says:

    My favorite riff on the horoscope is Weird Al’s parody song.

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