Colliding Worlds

There are so many different versions of “us,” sometimes manifested in a single hour. We can be hurriedly fumbling with our cell phones while waiting on the barista, then see an old friend outside and our gestures, even our voice changes. Minutes later we fight off our angry-self when a crazy guy swerves in our lane. Another version of us appears when we become the forgetful spouse that only had one errand to remember, but didn’t.

It always feels like a collision of worlds when my wimpy spoiled dry-heat body gets off the airplane into a world of wet-heat. Yesterday, here in Indiana, the temperature and the humidity agreed. Both were 90. They have some kind of ‘heat index’ classification I never understood. The TV weather kid said something about it “feels like” a hundred and something. No it doesn’t feel like that at all. I’ve played golf in Death Valley and Phoenix when the temperature was 108 and never sweat a drop. What 90-90 feels like is being trapped with your clothes on in a small closet with a heat lamp turned to high.

The heat’s worth it when I get to spend time with my children and life-long friends. Another high school reunion. We have one every five years and it seems like the last one was a few months ago. Sure is wonderful to see all my ornery old friends. We prove the old adage… only the good die young. Some of my classmates have changed so much they didn’t recognize me.











I have to be a wimp to turn down a ticket to the NASCAR Indy race. The older I get more I notice fewer things are worth waiting in line for…or sweating for.

From Indiana I’m heading to Nashville for another week so I suppose I’ll get use to wearing wet shirts and feeling water trickling down my skin…everywhere.

My fun job in Nashville is to listen to a showcase of three dozen musical acts in one weekend. Hopefully I will come back to California with a list of excellent entertainers that our Bakersfield Community Concert group will enjoy in 2016 and 2017. I think our Concert Association is the greatest “deal” in the country. If you subscribe to our season of concerts you will enjoy Eight first class musical acts (country, jazz, pop, classical and in between) for the total price of Eighty Dollars.

So wish me luck in Nashville, I’ll try not to break any of their dumb Tennessee laws. In case you didn’t know, here are some of their laws still on the books:

1)  Participating in  a duel prohibits you from holding a public office.
2) Stealing a horse is punishable by hanging.
3) You can shoot game from a moving automobile, except whales.
4) Hollow logs may not be sold.
5) Crimes against Nature are prohibited.
6) More than eight women living together constitutes a brothel and is illegal.
7) It is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish.
8) Giving or receiving oral sex is prohibited by law.

HOWEVER.…it is still LEGAL to gather and consume roadkill.
At least I won’t starve while I’m visiting.

About bakoheat

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2 Responses to Colliding Worlds

  1. fiddlrts says:

    Darn! I wanted to hunt my whales from a moving car using a lasso. Oh wait! A whale isn’t a fish! So I am okay, right?

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