Thanks, Maia


We’ve kept a lot of the Pagan gods in our days and months. Every week day and most months are named for a different ancient pagan god. How come nobody complains? Why haven’t there been bills in Congress and long speeches?

I can’t imagine the mess of changing the name of a month or a day so we let it ride.

Actually I like the pagan gods. They were cool and many are still popular…like Atlas, Thor, Mercury, Zeus, and my personal favorite, the very cute Aphrodite.
Aphrodite

So here we are in the beautiful spring month of May. May is named for the Roman god, Maia, the goddess of growth. The perfect name for springtime.  My roses are looking better than ever. The tomato plants are growing and our peaches are green and bigger than golf balls. Thank you, Maia.
Roses in Spring

Maia had a heck of a life. What a mess! She was the daughter of Atlas, no less. She was kind of shy, a loner. She slept deep inside of a cave. Well, you won’t believe it, but her damn daddy, Zeus secretly crept into her cave and pregnatized her. I’m not sure if the cave was somewhere in eastern Tennessee, or how many teeth Maia had, but no doubt she was with child. Zeus’s kid.

This kid, named Hermes was something else. He was born that very night she was begotten and, being kind of worn out from having a kid in one night, she wrapped him in blankets and fell sound asleep. But, he was a biggin’, so big that he grew fast enough that first night that he crawled out of the cave. Really, you can’t make this stuff up, and besides it’s in all the sacred books and more importantly I read about it on the internet.

So little Hermes crawled away on the first night of his birth and went over to Thessaly and stole a bunch of cows from his half-brother, Apollo.  Little Hermes didn’t stop doing wild and crazy things. No sir. By the time his first day of birth was over he had also stumbled across a turtle and took the shell and invented the lyre. The one day old kid put Thomas Edison to shame.

Well, Apollo was pretty pissed about losing his cows and went and complained  to Maia, Hermes mamma. She said, “What? No Way! My little Hermes is only twenty four hours old and he’s in no shape to be stealing cows. Zeus said, “I have one word for you, Maia…bullshit.”

Apollo went to Zeus and probably had some Instagram photos of Hermes taking the cows, because Zeus immediately agreed and looked at Hermes and said, “You are busted, dude.”

Well, thankfully it didn’t end in blood shed and and an entire tribe being massacred the way it happened with our modern God. No, they negotiated a treaty, something like the Iran Nuclear Deal. And it worked.

Apollo agreed that Hermes could keep the cows, but he wanted that cool new musical invention, the lyre. Reluctantly Hermes handed it over.

We know that story is true because from that day forward Apollo is always pictured with his beloved lyre.
Apollo and lyre

On a sadder note, later in life, as his mind slipped, Apollo never went anywhere without his lyre and hat. Alas, sometimes he forgot his pants.
Apollo hat and lyre

And now you know the rest of the story.

Have a wonderful May, thanks to Maia, goddess of growth.

About bakoheat

Writer/Musician
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2 Responses to Thanks, Maia

  1. joanraymondwriting says:

    If the schools taught your version of Greek mythology, more kids would want to pay attention. 😉

    Great post!

  2. fiddlrts says:

    I was always partial to Athena, but then, I have always loved badass women. 🙂

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