I’ve been so busy I don’t have time to write my regular blog and send you off my football rant. Excuse me while I do both.
It’s time for my semi-annual rant about PU football, herein known as PeeYew football. I used to be proud of the product my old hometown displayed every Saturday during the gridiron season. It’s been eight long years I’ve been sending you these terrible angry letters.
Doesn’t seem fair I’m yelling from 2500 miles away. What do I know? So please accept all this yelling as just my opinion from the stuff I see on the boob tube.
Just a little background about our college football team we try to root for.
After 12 years of Tiller at the tiller, PU looked back on 10 bowl appearances. What a dynasty, even hard getting a ticket in the just under 70,000 seat stadium.
Nothing greater than big-time college football. The last game I witnessed a PeeYew game, November 1980, over 71,000 ( a stadium record) squeezed into the seats for the Hoosier’s game. PeeYou vs Hoosiers is/was a great intra-state rivalry.
Now the team has gotten so bad, playing to half-empty stadiums, that they removed seats and replaced them with a picnic grounds, hoping to pay for their uniforms with hot dog sales. I see the seating charts now say there are 59,000 seats. Still only about half are being used. I would take out another 20,000 seats and put in a couple massage parlors and a karaoke bar. People would then return home with smiles on their faces.
And we would see a full stadium.
When the Tillerman retired, the brilliant athletic director decided to leave the realm of the Enlightenment and enter the myth of Heavenly Hope. He placed the fate of the football team in the hands of a guy named Hope. OMG! Disastrous results. Suddenly PeeYew was losing as much as they were winning, and looking bad even when they won. They did make it to two bowl games under Hope, even winning the Little Caesar’s Pizza Bowl. They beat the powerful Western Michigan Broncos……………..yea!
So all Hope was lost and he was canned. Now we’re in the Hazellnut era and I notice my semi-annual sports rants have become, like the current political scene, hateful, mean-spirited, and angry.
It’s probably not fair that I would say bad things about a coach who was undefeated. At least undefeated in every one of his four home opening games. Games that provided patsies in order to be undefeated in every home opener in his four year career.
But what is fair is to point out after his first victory in his first year he lost the next ELEVEN games in a row. After winning his opening game his second year at the helm, he lost nine of the next eleven games. In his third season, which should have been his last chance to prove he knows how to coach he blew it big time. This was his recruited players, no one to blame for losses now. After winning his home opener (another patsy) he lost TEN of the next eleven games.
He should have joined the Hope squad, but no, he’s back this year. But the coaches, both offensive and defensive, that he hired to run the horrible offensive structure and inadequate defensive structure were fired. Can you believe it? He blamed his coaches he hired to run his team. In come new coaches this year, hired by the same bad head coach.
I must say after another opening victory last week (against another patsy) the offensive unit was more intact, structured, simpler and well prepared. The QB looked sharp, running back gained 145 yards and the defense buried their opponent.
Maybe, this year…hmmmmm. But….it was a patsy.
And now we have this week, with hopes of another patsy lined up.
Yes, we had the square-off between Coach Tommy the Train Tooterville vs. My other brother Darrell Hazellnut. Cincy vs PeeYew.
Some more back ground. When I squeezed into a sold-out stadium in 1980, the Cincy football team had just been given a lifeline. The school wanted to quit football in the ‘70s because they couldn’t get any athletes to go there and those that did couldn’t play. But, some good coaches built some fair teams over the next couple decades. They were in a smaller football conference, the American Athletic Conference, and it sounds very patriotic.
Cincinnati had not defeated a Big Ten football team for 59 years.
But, they had never played PeeYew.
I watched the game today. The new bright quarterback threw five (5!) interceptions, three of them intercepted by a guy named Mike Tyson. I was shocked. When he took his helmet off on the sidelines I was relieved all the facial tattoos were gone.
PeeYew had no running game and the defense sucked.
Defense gave up 38 points.
Offense of PeeYew scored 20 points, thirteen in the final quarter.
So only two pieces of good news about this poorly performing team.
#1– A new Athletic Director was just hired last month. Surely he can see what a mess he has on the football field the past four years.
#2– PeeYew will not lose next week. Hooray!