I don’t know why I have this ‘thing’ for Pluto, not the Disney character, but the planet.
If I could afford to visit a shrink about my Pluto problem I imagine he/she would find a size problem. I’m hoping it hasn’t been a life-long sexual thing. No wondering what one might find with hours of that type of studying.
I do know I’m on the side of the angry “NASA New Horizons Mission to Pluto” dude. I’m guessing they are all guys. I can’t imagine women getting themselves all worked up about their size.
I haven’t seen the picture of Alan Stern, the principal investigator of the NASA group. I bet he’s short. He even talks like a short guy. His comment this week about “Pluto” spoke in the right anger. To quote Mr. Stern about keeping Pluto demoted from our other planets he said, “That demotion is quite simply Bullshit.” Now that’s a short guy on my team.
Now after two years of non-stop pressuring NASA big-wigs to re-classify Pluto, we may find the answer in the next week or so. Stay tuned.
I know exactly when my Pluto Puncture sunk me headfirst. It was my high school football coach. Forty jock-strapped high school guys were walking from room to room getting outfitted for the season. My live-in-home did not have a “stadiometer.” None of us did. The only height measurement available was in the high school gym. The football and especially basketball coaches liked the psychological power of controlling the team measurements. Didn’t know that.
When it was my turn going through the measurement line, the assistant coach yelled out the height/weight amount and that was it. I had no way at home to check it nor did I want to. Five Feet Eight Inches Tall, One Hundred Sixty Pounds sounded like the perfect size to become a kick-ass guard (in both sports of Football and Basketball)
And that’s what I was for many years, even CYO basketball league through my twenties. And honestly I believed that was accurate.
My Pluto Depression happened sometime when I was in my late ‘20s. A busted ankle led me to the emergency room where the doctor asked for my vitals. When I spurted out the Five Foot Eight number he laughed. “Seriously,” he said. I said, “Seriously!” He laughed again and asked the nurse to give him a measure and that’s when it happened. I lost TWO PLUTO INCHES immediately. I was actually Five Foot Six. Talk about a beat-down!
Suddenly I became one inch under that the average height for men in the 1960s. Today it is four inches shorter than the USA average male height of 5ft 9 1/2inches tall.
I’m not sure what that means to my psyche, but I have found a love for Pluto.
And I’ve sent a bid on a new vacation rental property a few thousand miles from here.