Jobs for KIDS


I can’t let my children (FOUR) lose their employment over this tremendous pressure to choose their brackets. Such stress! The NCAA tourney is doing it again.

I’m a parent here to help…retired parent with more time on his hands then money.

There is no “like” universities or “loyalty.” Nope…somehow the four kids spread out all over the country and attended different schools.

Now the problem is the four kids are rooting for FOUR different schools. OMG!  That can cause more arguments; stress and problems then we need at Thanksgiving dinner.

Here I am to take care of the problem, choose the winners and losers and not let them lose valuable work time.

How much work time?

The latest numbers as of this year:

50 Million workers fill out the “BRACKET.” That’s 20 percent of our work force.

The cost to employers is over 1.3 billion dollars in time wasted on bracket building.

And family money disappears. Over 9 BILLION dollars in wagers— with less than 262 million being actual legal wagers.

Once again, here’s poppy to save money for my kids employers and I’ll help cover their wagers and arguments. What a nice daddy!

About the FOUR schools that my kids will be eyeing, we only have one slip-up this year. Poor old Indiana University missed the big show and has been relegated to the “lower-class” NIT tourney (Like our local Cal State Bakersfield team).

MICHAEL—OLDEST MALE CHILD (Indiana University)

The good news from my perspective is IU is the strongest team in the NIT and I choose them to come out the big winner. That will bring not only national pride but more recruits to their program. All will be good if their head coach doesn’t physically explode on national TV. He’s come close. I don’t mean mentally explode like their old coach, Bobby Knight…I mean physically explode in a big gooey mess. Never happened before but he could manage it.

JOY—OLDEST FEMALE CHILD (Purdue University)

Yes, PU and IU don’t like each other. Thankfully the kids still do. PU Is playing Green Bay in the first round game in the big show, and it looks like PU may finally get a win. That’s rare because they have the worse tourney coach in history and he usually stinks up the PU game plan when the going gets tough. However, lurking for follow-up rounds are Notre Dame and Kentucky. Go ahead and make breakfast plans on Sunday, Joy, nothing to watch on TV.

Angela—YOUNGEST FEMALE CHILD (Bucknell University)

Sorry, you’re hundreds of miles away from breakfast with your sister because Sunday brunch (with no needed games to watch) is a huge possibility. Bucknell has a tough draw playing a two-loss only team in Maryland and waiting in the sidelines will be a great Oregon team and a strong Duke team. Next year…maybe.

Troy—YOUNGEST MALE CHILD (Gonzaga University)

A bright light in the tourney? Maybe. Certainly a fun team to watch. They have the best draw in the tourney with very weak teams in the entire bracket. Weird! Just beat Oklahoma and keep Sunday wide open for TV.

That’s it. Another bracket building job finished. Four careers saved and a smooth Thanksgiving Dinner.

Later!

About bakoheat

Writer/Musician
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One Response to Jobs for KIDS

  1. Bill Pridemore says:

    Don’t sweat it Magoo. Just kick back and let the balls (basket) fall where they may! Treat this the same as everything else.
    After all, it didn’t hurt Mike too much when I threw him up against that pipe in Keene’s basement.

    (Congrats on the post – call when you can)

    Pridemoreski

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